The Toilet's Blogged

And with the 23rd selection in the 2013 NFL Draft, the...

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 12:16:59 -0500

And with the 23rd selection in the 2013 NFL Draft, the Indianapolis Colts pick…boogers out of their noses.

Lucas Oil Stadium. More like Mucas Oil Stadium.

3rd and 11. You gotta go deep.

Talk about a nose tackle!

Congrats on the first win, Tannehill!

Mon, 17 Sep 2012 16:22:07 -0400

Congrats on the first win, Tannehill!

Good one, Kat.

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 15:56:59 -0400

Good one, Kat.

I love sports! DWI means Dunking With Intensity, right?

Fri, 20 Jul 2012 17:03:54 -0400

I love sports!

DWI means Dunking With Intensity, right?

I’m pretty excited about this. If you want the full...

Fri, 25 May 2012 12:24:11 -0400

I’m pretty excited about this.

If you want the full Patrick Ewing effect, take the can out of the fridge and let it sit on the counter until the condensation is at full force. It will add the alarming amount of patented Ewing sweat. Of coarse this will make it a lot harder to not barf while you’re drinking it.

USA! USA! USA!

Wed, 02 May 2012 11:57:00 -0400

USA! USA! USA!

I doubt very much that he remembers that punch…or the...

Tue, 01 May 2012 08:25:28 -0400

I doubt very much that he remembers that punch…or the fight…or much of anything else.

The media is really exaggerating this story about Bobby...

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 09:30:12 -0400

The media is really exaggerating this story about Bobby Valentine not getting along with his players.

Looks like they’re doing just fine to me.

Dear Westchester Toyota

Sun, 01 Apr 2012 20:32:27 -0400

If you take 2 and a half hours to change the oil in my car, I’ll still fill out your survey and give you good marks if you are a nice guy, but if you constantly call and e-mail me to take another survey, I will try and waste a little bit of your time too.

“Two and a half hours for an oil change. Not an exaggeration. Got in at 10:00am left at 12:45pm. Nobody gave me an update about what was going on, or why it was taking so long. I can only assume Daniel Plainview was back there digging for the oil himself. Given the lack of modern equipment available to Daniel Plainview, I can understand why it would take so long, and even go as far as commending Daniel Plainview for the rapid fashion in which he dug for, and obtained the oil which was then put into my car, a machine that must baffle Daniel Plainview to no end. But since nobody let me know what was going on with my car, I can only speculate as to whether Daniel Plainview was a part of this process or not. If in fact Daniel Plainview is a member of the Westchester Toyota team, I am wondering whether employing Daniel Plainview to dig for your oil is an effective business practice. I certainly do not want to tell you how to do your job, nor do I claim to be an expert in the automotive field, but hiring a turn of the century oil tycoon to harvest Texas Tea for you seems a bit short sighted. Something to think about.”

Freezing myself so I don’t have to wait for the new season...

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 14:47:42 -0500

Freezing myself so I don’t have to wait for the new season of South Park to start.

Finally a reason to be a Knicks fan again. Lin Diesel.

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 21:05:50 -0500

Finally a reason to be a Knicks fan again.

Lin Diesel.

Foo-gos.com Delicious.

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 12:39:08 -0400

Foo-gos.com

Delicious.

Occupy Walmart?

Wed, 12 Oct 2011 11:50:24 -0400

Occupy Walmart?

"Congratulations Mariano Rivera but Jesus is the all time saves leader."

Wed, 28 Sep 2011 16:14:00 -0400

“Congratulations Mariano Rivera but Jesus is the all time saves leader.”

- A church down the street from where I live had this on a sign out in front of their building.

A couple things confuse me about this. First, I was confused because I was positive that Mariano Rivera just set the record for most career saves. I was at the game where they bestowed all these wonderful gifts upon him for his achievement. So who is this Jesus guy? I looked it up and thought maybe they meant Jesus Colome of the Florida Marlins. But he has 6 career saves. Only six! How could they have thought he had the most and be confident enough to put it out there in front of their church? Then it hit me. It’s a church idiot, they are probably talking about Jesus Christ. So I did more research. Jesus Christ was born around the year 0, give or take and the save wasn’t even invented as a stat until 1960. And get this, Christ never even played the game (as far as we know). Even if he did, there is no way he would be a closer. That guy has ace written all over him. Bogus. Bogus and irresponsible.

Those of you who are paying attention to the Miami...

Mon, 19 Sep 2011 13:24:47 -0400

Those of you who are paying attention to the Miami Dolphins’ secondary this season are already well aware of this…

I don’t like John Lackey, but I’ll give the guy...

Wed, 31 Aug 2011 17:29:01 -0400

I don’t like John Lackey, but I’ll give the guy credit for having the balls to purposefully bean Francisco Cervelli in front of this guy with Christmas right around the corner.

Larry Johnson just signed with the Miami Dolphins. Initially...

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 16:36:44 -0400

Larry Johnson just signed with the Miami Dolphins.

Initially excited.

Eventually disappointed.

Best Show.

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 15:08:14 -0400

Best Show.

ME: Hey Eli, be careful this preseason. Remember that hit you...

Fri, 12 Aug 2011 09:48:07 -0400

ME: Hey Eli, be careful this preseason. Remember that hit you took last year against the Jets?

ELI MANNING: …No.

WELCOME BACK FOOTBALL!

You’re not big sports guys?

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 14:50:25 -0400

You’re not big sports guys?